


Espresso Sized Facts

by RubixaSeraph



Series: This is Not an Office Rom-Com [3]
Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Office, Coffee, gender ambiguous reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:34:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25435471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubixaSeraph/pseuds/RubixaSeraph
Summary: Nero asks if you could teach him how to use the new espresso machine.In "return", you learn a little more about your company owner's family, in regards to sweets and coffee.You're still left guessing about a few things, however. And you wonder... exactly how strongly do you wish to know?[A drabble of worldbuilding. Welcome to the start of a slow burn office romance.]
Relationships: Dante (Devil May Cry)/Reader, Not a relationship yet - Relationship, Vergil (Devil May Cry)/Reader, slowburn - Relationship
Series: This is Not an Office Rom-Com [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1823947
Comments: 13
Kudos: 57





	Espresso Sized Facts

**Author's Note:**

> [One of the author's favorite dumb tropes: that the way to a man's heart is food.]

It’s been about two weeks since your accident regarding Vergil’s and Dante’s lunches. 

Early in the summer morning, Nero showed up at the office. You supposed that summer break meant he would stop by more often. 

Since two weeks ago, after Trish told you “go ask her cousins yourself” for the answer of which twin was Nero’s father, you obviously had not asked. It felt like such a left field inappropriate question… because even curiosity did not feel like a good excuse to ask. 

So it remained a mystery to you, and you told yourself to simply settle with the small amount of pride you had over Nero complimenting your cooking. (Not that pasta was hard to make.)

“Hey, Trish! I saw the place got a new espresso machine in the kitchen?” The teenager asked your boss. 

That’s right. Some time last week, the company acquired a new toy of sorts. Now, not only did the company have a nice coffee machine, but it also had an espresso machine. 

Nero then asked: “Do you, uh… can you teach me how to use it?”

You sat up front, so you didn’t see the amusement that was on Trish’s face from behind you. Your boss simply told him: “(Y/N) used to work as a barista before coming here. I can spare them for a moment.”

Hearing your name being said, you glanced up at Nero, and then turned your chair around to look at Trish. “Wait, what? Are you sure?”

“Go on. It’s been a slow morning.”

Having been volunteered, you turned to look at Nero, who was feeling a bit sheepish. “You don’t have to. I could just go read the manual and…” He scratched the back of his head. 

“No, it’s fine. I’m sure I can figure the new machine out and show you.” There was no harm since your boss gave permission. 

“Well, hey! Thanks then!” Nero grinned, and you followed him to the kitchen. 

The machine was simple enough. Someone had already filled the beans and the water for it, too. 

“So, what kind of coffee are you hoping to make?”

Nero seemed to think about it for a bit. “Mocha? We can use hot cocoa powder for that, right?”

“The sweet confection, not the actual mocha bean kind, right?” 

“Yeah that’s fine. Most of the family’s got a sweet tooth like you wouldn’t believe it.” 

It was a very offhand remark, but you couldn’t help but glance over at him curiously as the machine sounded loudly to ground out the amount of coffee beans you needed. When it ended, Nero could tell you were curious, and supplied: “Wanted to learn how to use the machine. Might as well bring something to drink for my dad and the other one.” 

You still didn’t know which one was which, to the teen, and you were still afraid to ask. The way Nero referred to them as “dad and the other one,” however, tickled you. As you made sure the coffee grounds were patted down firm, you asked: “One or two shots of espresso? And they like sweets, huh?”

“Two. Those two are souped up on caffeine like you wouldn’t believe it. Judging by how much Trish and Grandma drinks this stuff? Probably came from that side. But Gramps? Loves sugar. So I guess those two things combined and I live with adults who love caffeine and sugar, both.” 

While waiting for the machine to brew, you noticed in his explanation that he didn’t speak of the presence of a mother, as if when he referred to “grandma” and “grandpa” it would only ever be referring to Eva and Spencer. But you quickly reminded yourself that was none of your business, and said: “Could you grab the milk from the fridge for me? And what about you? What do you think of sweets.”

He kindly got the milk for you, and responded: “Couldn’t escape it, either. I don’t really care for the caffeine part but I love a good dessert. We have a family friend who makes the _best_ tiramisu. Helps that it’s dad’s favorite. So we have it in the house, a lot.”

You briefly wondered which one would be the one that loved tiramisu. Dante? Or Vergil? Strangely, you imagined such a dessert to be more up Vergil’s alley. But you couldn’t be sure. It wasn’t like you knew either of them very well.

You turned on the steam, poured the milk into the metal pitcher, and instructed Nero on how to heat up the milk. Afterwards, Nero repeated what you showed him, and there were two whole mugs of espresso based lattes with sweet hot chocolate mixed into it. A coffee aficionado might call this sweet confection a blasphemy to coffee, but as a sweet-coffee lover yourself? Who cares?

“Perfect. Hey, thanks, (Y/N).” Nero thanked you as he did one last finishing touch to one of the mugs: he added a small handful of miniature marshmallows to it. You wanted but felt too shy to ask who that mug was for; that was a LOT of sugar. 

“Glad to help.”

And that was your good deed done. 

So you went on the rest of your day, pointedly trying not to wonder who got which coffee, and if they liked it or not. 

* * *

Your lunch break came around, and there was a stranger in the kitchen. 

At least, not an employee. Another teen, sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of black coffee, an open book, and a notepad. You immediately thought “goth” when you saw him and mentally kicked yourself; it might have been a bit rude. Just because he had black hair and wore everything in black, didn’t have to mean he was goth. And even if he were, this young man was a pretty tame one. Simple black T-shirt, and black pants with metal studs down the sides. His accessories were only a black leather wristband with metal studs, and a slightly gaudy ring. He had an interesting swirling patterned tattoo down his left arm. 

The look suited him, if you were being honest. 

You also had to wonder what a kid like him was doing in this office. And which parent that worked here would allow their son to be so bold, sporting a tattoo like that at such an age? You could imagine Trish being that kind of mother, but you knew your boss was single and childless. 

Maybe he belonged to one of the field techs. You don’t see them as often as you see the office workers. The only one you have a strong impression of was Baldasarre. Or “Baal”, as the rest of the office called him. A nickname. And your impression of the man was “loud and scary.” He’s known for complaining a lot about his lead supervisor, which would be Dante. It was something of a friendly kind of banter though. All you know was that Baal and Dante were cousins or something and there’s history there. (You’d much prefer dealing with Modesto in the accounting department. Nicer fellow. _Goes by Modeus_. A weird pair of brothers, if anyone asked you.)

Curiosity aside, you didn’t want to bother the teen who was probably doing his studies, and walked past him to get to the fridge. Grabbing your container of food, you microwaved it, and found your spot at the other end of the table, so that you could eat and give the boy ample personal space.

And green eyes looked up from his book, to your food container, and lifted up to look at you. “Would you happen to be (Y/N)?”

You paused before putting another bite of food into your mouth. “I… yes. I am. And you are…?”

“Vitale. But most of my family and friends simply call me V. You made the pasta that my brother eventually ate.”

Connecting the dots, there was only one person that V could be speaking of. “Oh! You are Nero’s brother?”

...Vergil surely wouldn’t be the kind to allow his son to get a tattoo like that, would he? So maybe Dante…? Wait, why do you care so much?

“Younger twin, yes. Though I will say he hardly acts like the elder, not that it matters much between twins. Our father and uncle may have people thinking otherwise…”

You’re starting to doubt that V’s hair colour was natural, though you were now curious if he shared the same silver-white colour with Nero and the rest of their family members. 

You also still do not know who was who when the subject of “father and uncle” is brought up, and you’re beginning to feel like you’re at the point of “I still don’t know and I’m afraid to ask.”

So you could only respond kindly: “Age is hardly a prudent argument in everything, right?”

V had an amused smile curled about his lips. He reached over for his coffee, and said: “No, but thankfully Nero has the sense to not play that card with me. He has his strengths and I have mine. But, speaking of Nero, I heard you taught him how to use that espresso machine today.”

He glanced over at said machine as he took a sip of his drink. You felt like there was some manner of unspoken implication there. “You make it sound like it’s a bad thing.”

“Oh, no. Not at all. I just thought you might find it interesting to know that he’s trying to garner points from our childhood friend, Kyrie. Not that he needs to, but he’s the type that would bend over backwards for the girl he likes. Though I suspect it will also become a useful skill to bribe Nicoletta with.”

Names that you don’t recognize, but by context, they must be classmates and friends. 

V set down his cup and then added: “Father and uncle are simply reaping the benefits of his practice. And one of them isn’t immune to bribery by means of sweets. Nero will become formidable.”

You are fairly certain the one not immune to bribes would be Dante. You also found this statement relatively funny, and teased: “What about you? Are you immune to your brother’s bribes?”

He simply smiled and lightly tapped the edge of his coffee mug. “Clearly not. But this isn’t nearly enough for me to take up dishes tonight so he can leave early to take Kyrie out. We’ll see what else he brings throughout the day.”

The silence the two of you fell into felt like a natural end to the conversation. You had lunch to get back to, and he had his book. When you were done eating, however, V did tell you as you left the kitchen: “It was nice to meet you, (Y/N). Please don’t let the rest of my family give you trouble.”

You honestly didn’t know how to respond to that. Most of the rest of his family that you dealt with on a regular basis were either your bosses or the head of other departments. If anything, it should be the other way around: you hope you weren’t bringing trouble to them. 

“Um… this office has been pretty amazing so far. It was nice to meet you, too, V.”

* * *

Later that day, you were again surprised by the sudden presence of Vergil looming about the door frame. When you looked up from your work and saw him, you blinked once in surprise, and chirped: “How can I help you?”

It wasn’t uncommon for him to come to the scheduling office. Communications between departments and all that. You assumed that he was here to ask someone to add something or change something on someone’s schedule. 

Instead, he said: “Dante and I have something of a pointless bet.”

You blinked at him again, slower, this time, trying to process what was going on. “Uh… yes?”

The rest of your office, with your other five co-workers plus your boss, were all interested in where this conversation was going. 

“Nero had made mention that you showed him how to operate the new espresso machine. Naturally, Dante believes this meant one of the two cups would have been made by you, and the other, by Nero.”

You stared up at him while trying to keep your face blank of the amusement that was welling up inside you. 

“And you have a bet with him over who had which cup…?”

“More accurately, He placed this bet with Lady.”

“And you are here asking about it because…?”

“Because if I’m correct, then the two of them owe me a friendly favor.”

Sitting at the front of the office, by the door, meant that your back was turned to the rest of your office. Trish had a raised eyebrow and an expression of amused investment. Two of your other coworkers glanced at each other. Another pretended to not hear the conversation going on as they continued working. And the rest found the entire scene to be curious.

You honestly weren’t sure how to feel about this. Embarrassed? That felt about right, to suddenly be in between a friendly bet between three people whom you would rather not offend. Another part of you was immensely curious about what kind of stakes were involved, about what exactly kind of favor from Dante and Lady would be worth Vergil participating in something this inane. 

And you’ll be damned if you didn’t get at least one of your curiosities answered today! And that curiosity was…

“Who was the coffee with the dozen marshmallows for?” You’ll take small victories. 

“That would be Dante and his disgusting taste for overly-sweet confections.”

From the back, Trish clicked her tongue. “As if you don’t like sweets, yourself, you chocolate fiend.”

Filing both tiny pieces of information away into your mental cabinet of curiosities, you smiled and responded as he continued to give this look of impassive anticipation: “I see. Sorry, but I’m afraid I don’t remember which cup was the one Nero put marshmallows into!”

Surprisingly, Vergil seemed to smile at that… almost in self-satisfaction. “I see. Thank you. The milk was foamed perfectly, by the way.”

As he left, you suddenly had a deer in the headlights feel. For one thing, though you did not lie about not remembering which cup was which, you knew that Nero, for his first try, didn’t exactly grasp everything about steaming the milk on the first try. 

So, this answered something even you hadn’t questioned; you trusted Vergil to be the type that would actually _care_ about the milk of his coffee. 

What does this mean for you? 

Today, you have learned that Nero had a brother. Quite a few of the family members liked sweets and coffee both. That Dante liked marshmallows of all things in his _coffee_. That Vergil liked chocolate. 

What were you going to do with all of this information?

And then Trish said, almost teasingly from the back of the office: “You need to stop spoiling my cousins with food!”

“That wasn’t me! Take that up with Nero!” You whined.

**Author's Note:**

> \- Topic inspired by my sis-in-law, who, despite knowing nothing about DMC, was absolutely tickled by my writing of my disastrous work-lunch situation into an AU fanfic, and brought up coffee in the workplace.  
> \- There’s this new tech hired to my workplace; very young and sweet. I call the kiddo “Mr. Sunshine.” Mr. Sunshine came into our office one day and asked my boss if she knew how to work the espresso machine.  
> \- My boss doesn’t drink coffee. I turned around and was like: “She doesn’t drink coffee…”  
> \- Sunshine said: “Neither do I.” Me: “Then why…?”  
> \- “I want to make [the VP of Business Development] a cup of coffee.”  
> \- (He actually remembered what I told him and still brings her coffee every now and then. She and I both find it amusing.)  
> \- Look! Baal and Modeus! I’m forever stuck on the tragedy that was “devils with a one track mind and fell to Dante’s blade.” So they can be family, here!  
> \- Do not ask me what blasphemy this is, to add marshmallows into coffee. For Dante, it just _felt right_.


End file.
